What words of encouragement would you like to hear from your loved ones?
- Barbara Lally
- Jul 5
- 2 min read
In this blog post I will be responding to a question from my guided journal, My Trichster Diaries. Please feel free to share your answer in the comments below.
I think that for many people, their loved one's initial reactions were mostly shock and horror. It wasn't their fault. They didn't know what was going on and they wanted whatever was happening to their child to stop. It was new to everyone. It was scary.
My family had a similar reaction and jumped into action. I was quickly taken to different doctors and therapists until we learned that what I was doing was a disorder called trichotillomania. Once we found the name, we started looking for the cure. It felt like we were running full speed with no end in sight!
I think something that would've benefitted me during the first few years of my diagnosis was to have my loved ones repeat that it wasn't my fault. I'm sure they said that at least a couple times but it never really sank in.
I did feel like it was my fault and that if I just tried harder to stop that I'd eventually be able to. I think because we were so badly looking for a cure, none of us stood still long enough to see how it was impacting me emotionally. I mean we all knew it was a big problem because it was visible...BUT I mean inside.
So much of my therapy sessions involved ways to stop and when asked about my feelings it was focused on the feelings that caused me to pull—not the actual feelings I had about the disorder. Do you know what I mean?
I truly believe that my loved ones did the best they could. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'd actually change anything if I could go back in time because it led me here BUT I do wish I listened to the kind things they said to me.
Things like:
"It's not your fault."
"You're still beautiful."
"You're doing your best."
"I love you no matter what."
If my children ever develop trichotillomania or another body-focused repetitive behavior, I'll go straight to Build-A-Bear and record my voice saying those things because if they're anything like me, they'll want to hear it on repeat.
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