If you had to describe your trichotillomania in only three words, what words would you pick and why?
- Barbara Lally
- May 31
- 2 min read
In this blog post I will be responding to a question from my guided journal, My Trichster Diaries. Please feel free to share your answer in the comments below.
The words I'd choose now to describe my trichotillomania are much different than the words little Barbara would choose. Her words would be a lot more negative so let's start with hers.
Young Barbara would've described her trichotillomania as:
Embarrassing, because everyone noticed something was wrong with her and would often ask her about it
Horrible, because she couldn't stop pulling out her hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows even though she was trying her hardest
Ugly, because the only way she felt comfortable leaving the house was under a layer of make up otherwise she was a monster
It was the bane of her existence. It ruined her self-esteem. It ruined her life! The only thing she wanted was for her hair to grow back and her trichotillomania to go away for good.
Well, as current Barbara, a 34 year old woman, I have come to accept that trichotillomania might be with me forever. I've let go of the shame and the negative-self talk (as much as I can—no one is perfect!).
34 year old Barbara describes her trichotillomania as:
Signaling, because it alerts me that something needs to change and I'm able to check in with myself. "What do I need right now?"
Persistent, because sometimes even the best strategies and tools won't stop me from pulling—it's the nature of the disorder and I've come to accept that too
Challenging, because it forced me to look at things differently like beauty standards and what being beautiful meant to me. Would I ever be able to accept the ever-changing person in the mirror? Yes! But it took hard work.
What three words would you choose?
Wound
Obsession Exhausting