In this blog post I will be responding to a question from my guided journal, My Trichster Diaries. Please feel free to share your answer in the comments below.
I think goal setting can be extremely helpful when managing trichotillomania if the goals are realistic and attainable. If you've been reading my blogs or following me in any capacity you probably know that I feel quite strongly about setting the goal to be "pull-free." In my opinion it is unrealistic and unattainable and should not be the goal for people with trichotillomania. Harsh, I know but listen, I've talked to hundreds of people in the community, from all walks of life, and we all agree that trying to be "pull-free" did more harm than it did good. Why? Because it is unrealistic and unattainable.
Read more about my relationship with being "pull-free" in my blog post from 2023 by clicking the image.
So what goals do I have then?
When I first answered this question in early 2022, during a session of Sharing Our Stories: The Course, I wrote that I didn't mind having trichotillomania, I just didn't want to look like I had it. Doesn't that seem so unlike me? I agree! That shows you how much I've continued to grow during my self-acceptance journey! That would never be a goal of mine now!
So what goals do I really have then? You know, since that top one is scratched out...
My goal is to give myself grace and speak positively to myself (a work in progress).
Shaking off the negative self-talk that has been with me since I first started pulling out my hair is hard to do. It is a constant work in progress and I get better at it every single day.
My goal is to always learn more about me + my trich and accept it as wholly as I can.
For the majority of my life with trichotillomania I tried to think about it as little as possible. Kind of hard to do when all I was doing was pulling out my eyebrows/eyelashes/hair and getting questioned by my parents/classmates/therapists/psychiatrists.
I wasn't interested in learning about and from my trichotillomania. I wanted a cure and that was it. No self-reflection. No noticing patterns. No noticing triggering locations.
Now that is all changed. I am constantly asking myself and my trichotillomania questions, analyzing my pulling patterns, and trying new management strategies. My trichotillomania is no longer ignored but viewed as an important indicator in my life.
My goal is to bring as much awareness as I can and continue what I'm doing now—facilitating relationships and building a community.
Being able to share my experience and meet others in the community is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I LOVE what I do. I feel blessed that I get to call this my job! My every day is my dream come true.
The beautiful thing about goals is that they can adapt and change. I have more goals that I haven't even listed here! I'll probably have a new goal to add in a month! Goal setting shouldn't be something that makes you anxious or miserable, it should be something that encourages and excites you!
Funny and completely unrelated story: When I was teaching my students often complimented my handwriting. I always told them, "What you're seeing is my 'teacher handwriting.' My actual handwriting is messy." Then I'd show them my planner and they would gasp.
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