People with body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs) like trichotillomania (hair-pulling disorder), dermatillomania (skin-picking disorder), nail biting, cheek biting, lip biting, nose picking, etc. have a unique challenge during the holiday season because these disorders leave physical reminders. They often alter the person's appearance in some way. All of the emotions that come along with that, whether it is guilt, shame, embarrassment, and/or insecurity, is amplified.
It's no surprise that people with body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs) fear sharing their experience. We've seen what the media has done with the disorder in television shows like The Sopranos where Meadow doesn't even attempt to hide her disgust. We've seen the comments that people leave when someone shares their story online. "I could never do that" or "Ew! Get help!" or my favorite, "This is disgusting. Stop now." But you're with your family now and you're compelled to share. So let's do it!
Before I share a few different options for sharing your experience, I want to remind you that your family loves you for you. Everyone's journey with their BFRB is different and that includes the sharing part. The fact that you want to share about it at all is a huge step. You got this!
Blurt it out!
Maybe the next time sharing about your BFRB comes across your mind you just blurt it out. No planning. No preparation. Just go with the flow and see what happens. They say that ripping off a bandaid hurts less than taking your time peeling it off. Maybe that can work for this too.
The benefit of this option is that you don't have time to think about everything that could go wrong. Overthinking and over-preparing can make it seem more daunting than it really is.
Read THIS!
Maybe preparing for something gives you the most comfort. If that is the case, practice what and how you would like to share and bring reinforcements. Search the internet for information that you feel adequately explains your BFRB. Print them out! After you share your experience with your family member(s), allow them time to read the information you printed out about the disorder. Sometimes people prefer their family member(s) to not ask questions until after they've read the information because their question may be answered.
The benefit of this option is there are little to no surprises. You know what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. You have printed out information that supports you. Your family member(s) has a question? Great, you assumed that and have an answer ready. You've prepared so thoroughly that the idea of feeling like a deer in the headlights doesn't once cross your mind.
Maybe next time...
If there isn't time to share about your experience or you aren't comfortable doing so in the moment, that's okay! This is all on your terms. Don't place unnecessary pressure on yourself. The time will come.
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