People who grow up with BFRBs often have the fear that their BFRB will ruin big moments in their life. We grow up worrying about picture days, proms, first dates and pool parties but not for the reasons a "typical" person would worry. We're worried because of your BFRB. So what do we do? We add more pressure to the pressure we're already putting on ourselves and the cycle continues into adulthood.
You may have heard people in the BFFB community talk about wanting to have a full set of eyelashes for their wedding day, that they're trying so hard to grow their hair back in before their engagement photos or having their eyebrows grown in before the birth of their child. If you haven't heard it maybe you've thought it yourself. Maybe you've even reached the goals you wanted for the big days in your life. Maybe you haven't.
When I decided to stop wearing fake eyelashes and embrace my eyelids no matter how they looked, thoughts of my big days popped into my mind. Of course they did, these are thoughts that start once the BFRB starts (often in childhood). I had no problem going to other people's weddings or big events with patchy eyelashes but I thought, What if my eyelashes are patchy for mine? Do I care? Will I look back at photos and wish I had a full set? These thoughts continued to circle in the back of my mind.
As one of the biggest days of my life approached (I knew it was happening because it is our favorite place in the whole wide world!!!!!!) I looked in the mirror at my patchy eyelashes and smiled. This is the person he fell in love with. This is the person he is going to propose to. If he loves me just like this, why can't I give myself the same love? What difference does a few eyelashes make? And the negative thoughts that once circled my mind left.
The proposal was a dream and not once did I think about how my eyelashes looked. Not even once.