At the height of my trichotillomania suffering, the idea of jumping into a pool was likened to death. I could not imagine anything worse. Why? Because I was wearing black liquid eyeliner to cover up my bare eyelids, hairspray in my hair to tame all of my regrowth that was sticking straight up, eyebrow pencil to fill in whatever I had left of my eyebrows, need I go on? If I got wet my trichotillomania would be completely exposed. So yeah, like death.
But besides quitting the swim team, I tried my best to continue doing the things I normally enjoyed like going to the beach or pool. I just was more prepared the more I went.
I'd look around, observing other people who in my mind, didn't have trichotillomania that were just enjoying themselves, and see what they were wearing. Okay, so it's normal to wear your sunglasses in the water. Great, I'll do that. Okay, so they haven't taken their baseball cap off the entire time. Great, I'll do that. Okay, her braids haven't come undone even though she was swimming under the waves. Great, I'll do that. And so the list began and continued to grow.
I was comforted knowing that there were things I could do so I felt comfortable getting into the water. It wasn't like a beach or pool day would be sprung on me out of the blue so I always had time to prepare.
What to pack when going into the water with a BFRB like trichotillomania:
Sunglasses
Baseball hat/Beach hat
Waterproof liquid eyeliner
Makeup remover
Q-tips/Cotton balls
Brush
Hair ties
Small makeup mirror
While in the water I wear my sunglasses and hat. I've only had one person ever comment on me wearing sunglasses in the ocean and I was able to look around and say, "Everyone else is too?"
Once out of the water, I'd use my other tools to touch up whatever I needed to then go on with my day. It was an amazing feeling!
Although I am open with my trichotillomania now, I wasn't always. These simple, everyday tools really helped. They gave me the confidence to get outside and get in the water when my trichotillomania wanted to keep me hidden in my room.
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